One Thing Keeping You From Living Your Best Life

Every January, it is almost impossible to get into a prime-time exercise class. The gym is packed with people all making good on their resolutions to work out more often and embrace a healthy lifestyle. But by spring, those classes seem to have plenty of room. The good intentions of the new year are no match for the ease of falling back into usual patterns and ingrained behavior. 

The fact is, making real changes in our lives is hard. Whether it’s something small like eating more fiber or a significant change like being open to a new relationship, change isn’t simple, especially as people get older and become more set in their ways. 

That said, just because change can’t occur with a magic snap of your fingers, that doesn’t mean it is impossible. 

“The one thing stopping people from living their best life is holding onto the past,” says Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of the recently released book, What's True About You; 7 Steps to Move Beyond Your Painful Past and Manifest Your Brightest Future. “Many people overidentify with their past selves. Real change occurs were you stop walking backwards and claim the future.” 

We Aren’t Who We Were 

Understanding the past can be a useful tool. If you understand mistakes you made, you may be less likely to repeat them. 

The problem is when the past acts like an anchor and stops you from moving forward. “Just because you were hurt in a relationship in the past doesn’t necessarily mean you will get hurt again if you try to find love now,” explains Woodward Thomas. “When we get stuck in the past, we aren’t able to create an opening for the possibility that the future could be different.”

Part of living your best life is letting go of what holds you back. Woodward Thomas says, “Many of us, if we have been hurt or disappointed in the past, develop a prickly, protective exterior. But instead of helping us, this defensiveness is part of the reason that change doesn’t occur. Living your best life means really letting go of those past hurts, not just pretending to do so.”

It also means taking ownership of your actions. “It’s impossible to make meaningful change if you see yourself only as a victim,” explains Woodward Thomas. “When you have self-responsibility you allow for the possibility that you can create the life that you want by making different choices, rather than doing what you have always done in the past.”

Set Big Intentions 

Woodward Thomas believes that many people do not think big enough when it comes making a real change.  “Living your best life means dreaming big,” says Woodward Thomas. “Rather than leading with negativity, you want to view the future with courage, audacity and a sense of playfulness. It’s not too late even in your 80’s or 90’s to find love, see the world or live like a queen."

 According to Woodward, a goal of exercising more often or eating more fiber is too small to be meaningful.  She explains, “Set a loftier intention such as, ‘I want to be fit so I can remain independent’ or ‘I want to play an active role in my grandchildren’s life'."