The Strange Thing That Happened When I Had Sex

Sadness or urge to cry with a positive sexual experience (43%)

Laughing (43%)

Hallucinations (4%)

Yet Streicher thinks that more than 2 percent of women likely experience out-of-the-ordinary sensations during orgasm. “I’d like to do a bigger study, as I think it’s a lot more common than the study showed,” says Streicher, a menopause expert with a popular Substack. “People don’t want to write about it or talk about it. They may be embarrassed or think that this means there’s an underlying problem with the relationship.” However, laughing or crying during orgasm doesn’t mean you’re unhappy with your partner, and physical sensations don’t mean there’s something wrong health-wise (except possibly in the case of headache; see below).

Arousal Versus Orgasm

While orgasmic experiences are personal and subjective, they do have some aspects in common. In medical terms, “orgasm is a physiological response that follows arousal. People confuse libido and arousal,” says Streicher. “Libido is, ‘I want to have sex.’ Arousal is the physical manifestation of being sexually excited that includes increased blood flow to the pelvis and to the clitoris, makes the nerve endings more sensitive and ready to ‘trigger.’”

And there is no orgasm without arousal — the latter must precede the former, and the clitoris is usually the main player. “Most women do need clitoral stimulation [to orgasm],” she says. “That sends signals to the part of the brain that causes pleasure.” The increased blood flow and clitoral stimulation cause both pleasure and pelvic floor contractions that trigger orgasm, followed by an overall sense of contentment and satisfaction. (Ahhhh!)

Symptoms Not to Ignore

So, now that we know what’s normal, there are three symptoms that do warrant a discussion with your OB/GYN:

Pain during sex. “There are two kinds of pain associated with sexual activity … pain that occurs with penetration or pain that occurs only when you have an orgasm,” says Streicher. “There should never be pain with orgasm." And there should never be pain with penetration.

Loss of urine during orgasm (assuming you don’t have a full bladder—pee before you have sex!) may also be an indication of an underlying medical condition.

While it can be peri-orgasmic phenomena, getting a headache during orgasm or during sex is also something to talk to your doctor about.

The Bottom Line

Finally, “there’s a lot about orgasm that we don’t know yet,” says Streicher. “The more we learn about the biology of orgasm, the better it will help us in terms of people who have difficulty with orgasms.”

As for me? I was relieved to learn that my unusual orgasmic experience was normal — and not a sign that anything is wrong with me or my relationship. Remember that if you experience something similar!