Fitness
The One Workout That Can Rev Up Your Libido
The surprising thing that has boosted my love life.
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I was raised on a steady diet of purity culture in the 1990s, so the only weight I associated with sex was the heaviness of guilt and shame I felt after my first sexual encounter when I was 19.
Time has helped heal some of those wounds, but for many years, sex wasn’t something I desired. A sense of obligation seemed to outweigh the occasional orgasm.
All this to say, if you’ve ever felt like intimacy was just another chore to cross off your to-do list like scheduling a teeth cleaning or dusting baseboards, you’re not alone.
Thankfully, that has changed as I’ve aged.
Now, having been in a healthy partnership with the same man for decades, I have discovered that I do like sex. While many women experience a decrease in drive as they age, I’ve experienced the opposite. As a matter of fact, I’ve discovered a surprising ingredient that has increased my libido: weight training. It turns out that my secret bedroom spark was always in the weight room.
Heavy Lifting, Heavy Libido
For the past two years, my partner and I have lifted weights together. While we don’t hit the gym every day, a few times a week we’re side-by-side completing deadlifts and overhead presses, trading heavy deep breaths and minor grumblings as we try to get in one more rep of goblet squats or bicep curls. While I’m no vision of beauty in my decades-old workout clothes with my sweaty hair plastered to my forehead, this exercise routine has improved our sex life.
Research shows that increased testosterone can improve the sex life of menopausal women. While testosterone supplements haven’t been FDA-approved for women, weight training provides a work-around! High-intensity strength training causes a significant increase in total testosterone in women. (The testosterone spike is short-lived, so you might want to get busy right after that sweaty gym session!)
This hormonal boost can be low-budget, too. If you don’t want to splurge on home weights or a gym membership, bodyweight exercises like push-ups or budget-friendly resistance bands work well, too.
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It’s a well-advertised problem that many men struggle with performance as they age, but exercise can help with that. Research shows that men who exercise have fewer sex problems. Maybe that problem will be coming for us in the future, but so far my guy has no problems in the performance department. Perhaps our sweaty gym sessions can be thanked for that.
And while looks aren’t everything, my partner and I are still both incredibly attracted to each other. Seeing his sculpted calf muscles and well-defined shoulders and biceps certainly helps. That might make me sound superficial, but it’s true!
Catching a glimpse of my own strong reflection in the mirror helps, too. Prior to lifting weights, I had noodle arms and legs I hated to expose. Now I feel strong. I can lift my own carry-on into the overhead bin, schlep loads of groceries up a flight of stairs, and admire definition in my arms I didn’t even have in college. I carry myself with a confidence I’ve never had before. This strength is a turn-on for me and for my partner!
Bend, Don’t Break
Like chocolate and good wine, too much of a good thing isn’t necessarily a good thing. While exercising in general improves your blood flow, overdoing it can have the opposite effect. A friend recently shared another cautionary tale. She tore her meniscus during her strength training workout, and this negatively impacted her sex life as she recovered from surgery. “You really need to be able to bend your knees for any of the good positions,” she honestly shared.
So yes, proceed with caution. But if you’re like me, adding some push-ups and lunges to your workout routine might have more benefits for you besides a decreased risk of heart disease and cognitive decline. Research shows strength training can make you happier, and my increased libido certainly puts a smile on my face. My partner isn’t complaining either!
Whether you start with five-pound weights in your living room or a complicated machine at your local gym, the goal is the same: feeling powerful in your own skin — and in the bedroom!
Do any of YOU lift weights? Let us know in the comments below.
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