Should You Stop Or Start Dyeing Your Gray Hair?

There is also a purely practical reason at play when women choose to ditch the dye: the cost. Kimberly Blevins stopped coloring in her 60s and now tries not to think about what she could have bought instead. For women like Carrie Jarvis, giving up the salon routine isn’t just about saving cash; it’s also a conscious refusal to spend her most precious resource — time — trying to stop the “beautiful and inevitable aging process,” as she describes it.

The gray and silver hairs — or wisdom hairs, as some women call them — symbolize something deeper for others. When Laura Langreck stopped dyeing at age 40, the timing coincided with the MeToo Movement. “I was done doing things society expected of me,” she shares. For other women, the refusal is tied to grief. Karen Smidt unexpectedly lost both of her parents shortly after trips to the salon to color her hair. Maybe it’s superstition, but more than 10 years later, she hasn’t colored since. “I’m not risking having hair on point for another funeral again!” she says.

Many women who chose the natural route express a deep sense of satisfaction with their decision, sharing that they receive more compliments — especially from other women — than they ever did before. “I feel more authentically me than I ever have,” Bridget Shaughnessy says.

Choosing to Dye

For every woman embracing the gray, however, there’s another woman finding joy from visits with her stylist. For them, the dyeing isn’t about hiding or following a one-size-fits-all approach. Whether they’re returning to their original color or choosing a vibrant purple or bright blue, covering grays for these women is about identity, empowerment, and control.

Sisterhood and family ties can play a huge role in this decision. While Brenda Gibbs continues coloring because she loves the routine modeled by her mother and grandmother, Angela Junker admits her motivation stems from a different place: good old-fashioned “sister competition.” Because her older sister has hardly a single gray hair, Angela stays on top of her trips to her colorist so she doesn’t look like the oldest sibling. On the flip side, Jennifer Miller opts for a more youthful color because she didn’t have children until she was in her 40s, and she doesn’t want to be mistaken for her children’s grandma.

While family ties drive women to the salon, so does the unrelenting machine of ageism in the workplace. Rae Buzzell shares, “I let the dye grow out over COVID, but when I launched a new job hunt in my 50s, I decided I needed to read a bit younger. I am a woman in tech and felt like anything that made me read ‘older’ was an obstacle.” And it isn’t just tech. Middle school teacher Caryn Kelly dyes for a similar reason: she doesn’t want her students viewing her as “old.”

Other women consider their salon trips their way to treat themselves, and for them, the money spent is well worth it. “I decided I didn’t need manicures or pedicures or expensive makeup,” Deborah Clark shares, “but keeping my hair colored and cut was important to me.” For these women, hair color isn’t a fun luxury but rather a needed form of self-care and a way to feel more like themselves.

Hair color also serves as an anchor and source of normalcy when women face moments of vulnerability. For breast cancer survivor Ruth Huelskamp, her hair color was a way to reclaim herself. “I just couldn’t wait to feel normal again,” she says of her salon trips after losing her hair.

Embracing the Agency

And that sense of agency is what matters most to women, no matter what decision they’re making about their hair. Whether they’re returning to their roots, embracing the gift of aging, or choosing to color as long as possible, these women aren’t just breaking the rules made by the boomers; they’re proving there was no need for a rulebook to begin with.

How many of you have embraced your gray hair? Let us know in the comments below.