My Friends Have Big D Energy. And I Want Some

My neighbor was glowing. And I was beaming for her by proxy — if more than a touch envious at the same time.

We both have young kids and busy careers that keep us on the move, juggling as many balls throughout the day as a circus entertainer trying to balance on one foot atop an elephant (while simultaneously parading through a flaming hoop).

But while I was looking as worn out as a dishrag every time I caught myself in the mirror (that’s what having young kids in your early 50s will do to you!), my friend appeared to be effervescing from within.

Was it a trending Korean beauty skincare routine I’d somehow missed? An elusive 10 hours of solid sleep she’d gotten? Perhaps a new boyfriend was lighting her up from the inside out with compliments and confidence that shone so brilliantly through?

None of the above, I soon found out. My neighbor’s glow-up came from finally finalizing her divorce and discovering just how rewarding autonomy, for the first time in her adult life, could be, she told me.

I’d read and seen much about the divorce glow-up trend on my social media feeds, but to witness the effect in real time in someone I knew was something altogether more inspirational.

As for my own domestic situation, I’m married with children and chugging along to the nonstop cadence of school commitments, mortgage payments, domestic demands and a full-time job, just like my neighbor is (although she’s sans partner now, of course, which makes things at once easier and also harder).

But one look at both of us and it was clear I was weathering the daily demands of it all in a harsher way. It showed in not only my face and tired eyes, but the lack of spring in my step, too — all signs I had seen before in her, too, before her glow-up. And as much as I would have preferred to blame anyone else for my downtrodden demeanor, I knew deep down the onus was all on me.

I took to calling my friend’s glow-up her “Big D energy,” which we both had lots of laughs about — mostly because there wasn’t a D (in the penile sense we were likely to joke about, anyway), anywhere in sight.

She was single, not looking to mingle, and loving every minute to focus squarely on herself and her family. And it showed!

When I looked around at other newly divorced friends, I noticed that most of them had a similar, brightened-up aura.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d seen these ladies battle in the trenches — and then some. But on the other side of their decision making, they’d risen from the ashes like proverbial phoenixes, feathers shinier than ever and ready to soar. I had to get me some of what they got!